Worst Christmas Break
by Glacierclaw
Summary: School has ended for three weeks. Christmas break has started. The South Park kids' world has gone mad. Stan is sleepwalking? Kyle's little brother Ike is evil? Cartman and Kenny have fanfiction accounts reccommended by Kyle? NONSLASH! COMPLETE
1. Stan

Hi! This is my first time writing a humor fic, and a South Park fic. And this is a non-slash! Even better! And since I'm thirteen, if my dad saw me writing South Park as what it was…well…so I just made it a little, er, cleaner. So…yeah…anyway, that was my speech. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter One – STAN'S POV

"Hey, there's no school today," I commented as I faced the living room. My parents and my sister Shelly were there, trying to figure out where to put the Christmas tree. "It's the first day of Christmas break, isn't it?"

Shelly came over and punched me, then continued to help.

"I guess that was a yes," I mumbled, rubbing my sore head. "Hey, why don't we put it here?" I suggested, gesturing at a place beside the couch.

"But that would block the pathway, Stan," said Dad.

"True. But it's not that hard to jump over the couch. Look! I can do it."

Without waiting for an answer, I leapt right over the couch. BANG!

"Oww!" I cried. "Who put this table here?"

Mom sighed. "That was an early Christmas present from your Aunt Flo."

"Oh, goody. I think I broke it."

"Good," said Dad. Mom shoved him.

After that little episode, I went outside to meet the others. Cartman and Kenny were there, in our usual spot, but I didn't see Kyle anywhere.

"Where's Kyle?" I asked them.

"I don't know." Cartman shrugged. "He's probably trying to figure out a way to get away from his little brother."

"Hiiattbehoble?" asked Kenny.

"Because little brothers are annoying, Kenny. They won't leave you alone."

"Guys! Guys! You are never going to believe this!"

It was Kyle. He was running up to us as fast as he could and nearly tripped over his own feet.

"I got an account, dudes! An account!"

"A what?" I repeated.

"A fanfiction account, stupid! It's so cool. My three-day thing is over and I can write fics! This is so awesome! I just posted a Megaman fic, and I already have five reviews!"

"Cool, whatever that means," grunted Cartman.

Kyle scowled. "Reviews are what people say about your story, stupid. You know, you should write fanfics. It would be cool, dude. All four of us on fanfiction, writing fics together!"

"I'm not interested in writing," I said.

"Elliimm!" exclaimed Kenny.

"You are?" Kyle turned.

"Uh-huhhh, uure!"

"Cool! What do you think your penname will be? Mine's mr.hanky201."

"Mr. Hanky?" repeated Cartman. "What in the –"

"Ayy, imlleeranggeath."

Everyone stared.

"Orangedeath?" I said.

"Makes sense," muttered Kyle.

"Well, if you two are going on this fanfiction thing, I guess I will too," mused Cartman.

"Whoa! You were the last person I'd expect," commented Kyle.

"Hey, do you want me to join or not?"

"I'll help you two get your accounts started. Want to come, Stan, even though you don't want to be part of this?"

I shrugged. "All right, then, maybe I'll change my mind."

As soon as we arrived at Kyle's house and were inside, Kenny said,

"Iiivvotoblem."

"What?" asked Kyle.

"Eeeantfordputer."

"Oh," said Cartman, glancing at Kyle.

"What did he say?" I asked.

"He can't afford a computer."

"That's okay, Kenny!" said Kyle cheerily. "You can use the computers at the library. They'll let you use it."

"Woo-hoo!"

"What are you kids doing?" It was Mr. Broflovski, walking into the living room.

"I'm going to get Cartman and Kenny fanfiction accounts!" exclaimed Kyle.

"Oh, really?" He looked interested. "Well, have fun with that. And whatever you do, don't look in the 'cartoons' section, and down to 's.' It's for your own good."

He walked away, leaving the four of us blinking stupidly.

"The…the cartoons section?" repeated Kyle. "The 's' part of it? What the heck?"

Cartman shrugged. "I don't know, dude, but we should check it out!"

"But Kyle's dad just said we couldn't," I said.

"Hey, it's Christmas break. We don't take orders from adults for three weeks!"

Kyle's computer was in his room. The four of us crowded around it, with Kyle at the mouse.

"Right," he said. "I'll make Kenny's account first…okay, agree…" Kyle clicked on the little 'agree' tab in the corner. "I don't even know what I'm agreeing to. Okay! So. Kenny, you wanted your penname to be 'orangedeath?'" He typed it in. "Okay, email…uh oh…"

"Nothuhoblem," muttered Kenny.

"It's all right," sighed Kyle. "I'll get you a Yahoo account."

So we took at least ten minutes to do that because for some reason the name 'orangedeath' had been taken. In the end, it was 'everydeath.'

"Now it's Cartman's turn," said Kyle, hitting 'register' again and clicking out of Kenny's account page. "Right. What's your penname going to be?"

"Hmmm…" Cartman thought hard. "How about… 'megamanrools.'"

"How typical of you, Cartman," I said, smirking.

"Huh? What's that mean!"

"What's your email?" interrupted Kyle. I laughed.

"Yeah? So? What's yours?"

"MSN."

Kyle finished with Cartman's account. "Remember, guys, there's a three-day waiting period before you can write stories," he said.

"Well, that's crap!" exclaimed Cartman.

"Yeah, but it'll help you get ideas."

Just then, I felt a sudden nip on my leg. I leapt back suddenly, crashing into Cartman. Cartman crashed into Kenny, and Kenny grabbed Kyle's chair to stop him from falling. But all four of us ended up on the floor in a pile. I looked up to see what had startled me.

"Ike!" I shouted angrily.

"Ike?" repeated Kyle. His foot was in my face. I stood up slowly and let the others get up as well.

"What did he do?"

"I think he bit me." Well, that sounded stupid.

"Hah-hah!" cried Cartman. "Kyle's little brother is going evil! This is classic!"

I looked down at the little adopted Canadian baby. He looked perfectly harmless and peaceful, trying to see why the carpet was attached to the ground.

"Stupid Ike," muttered Kyle, and picked up his little brother and put him outside the door.

"I have to be home soon," I said. "My parents wanted me to help decorate the tree."

"Good luck, dude," commented Cartman. "I couldn't decorate anything."

I left them alone, and went back to my own house. My parents and my older sister were waiting for me. Lights and ornaments were everywhere.

"Holy crap," I sighed.

"You could say that again," agreed Dad. "Now, help us decorate."

I let out another sigh and went to help them.

That night, I had a really weird dream. Wendy had apparently stolen my dog Sparky, and wouldn't let me have him back! I know, seriously weird, but it was a dream. As soon as I walked closer, she would take a step away from me, laughing, and Sparky would be yowling at me to get him away from Wendy. But when I got close enough, she slapped me!

And then I was awake, staring ahead, in front of me. What the…wait a minute, this wasn't my room. Worst yet, I was standing up. Even worse, it was Stelly's room I was standing in. She woke up instantly.

"Arghhhh!" she roared, and punched me.

"Ahh!" I cried. "Sorry! I, um…"

WHAM!

"Ah, crap."

Could my day get any worse? I thought bitterly. I've started to sleepwalk!

* * *

Okay, it's not the best…it'll get funnier, I think. Hehe…so, review, people! 


	2. Kyle

Soon To Be World Dominator: Interesting penname. : ) Well, that is exactly what's going to happen…I guess there's no point in giving it away, it's down there. I already had that planned!

Chapter Two – KYLE'S POV

One week later.

Kenny and Cartman's accounts had become available. Both of them had posted stories. I hadn't read them yet because I had been so busy. Both of them had recommended me in their profile page, as I had them, but Cartman's read:

_Oh, yeah, check out my friends orangedeath and mr.hanky201, even though mr.hanky201 is a Jew and all, so you probably wouldn't want to read his fics. They suck, anyway._

Where would I be without the support of my friends?

So I read their fics. They were…okay. But Cartman had read mine and was using my ideas. Typical. I decided not to flame him, the guy needed encouragement, but seriously: who would DARE copy another writer's ideas?

Even worse, after I posted my fifth chapter, I received no reviews. Nor had Kenny or Cartman. This was not good. Obviously my fellow fanfictioners had discovered that I made seriously weird friends who didn't respect their writers. Cartman was a huge insulter and copied. Kenny's fics were…well, horrible. Oh, man.

After that, I decided to see just what was in the 'cartoons' section and under 's.' So I went there, and discovered that there was a 'South Park' section!

"Oh, cool dude!" I said aloud. "We're famous!" I clicked on it.

And then…the whole world fell apart.

"OH MY _GOD_!"

* * *

I called the others up on the phone. Stan was first.

"Hey, Stan…do the three of you want to have a sleepover today?"

"Uh…what?" He sounded nervous. Jumpy.

"I said, do you and Kenny and Cartman want to have a sleepover today?"

"Oh. Uh…I dunno. When?"

"I said, today!"

"Ah. Well. I'll, uh…I'll ask." Now Stan sounded positively terrified. What the heck? He came back five seconds later. "Yeah…I…yeah, it's okay. It's fine. Everything's good."

"I'm sure it is," I said. "Right…see you, Stan."

"Bye…"

Well, that was weird, I thought, hanging up the phone. I called Kenny and Cartman and it was okay for them to come as well. I have got to show them the horror of what I have just discovered, I thought. And maybe convinced Kenny and Cartman to stop posting stories…otherwise my popularity on fanfiction is going to plummet eternally.

"Ike!" I cried, shaking my little brother off my leg an hour later as I typed my sixth chapter. "Would you let go of me!"

The doorbell rang. I hobbled down stairs, with my brother attached to my leg, and open the door. Stan, Cartman, and Kenny all stood there.

"Hi guys!" I said cheerily.

Cartman blinked. "Uh…Kyle, dude, why is Ike attached to your leg?"

"He, uh…I dunno. He's gone mad."

"Told you," boasted Cartman.

I led them inside.

"Stan, what the heck, dude?" I said. "Are you expecting an attack or something?"

"Ahh!" he cried, jumping a foot in the air.

"Artinctikeweek," commented Kenny.

"You're right," I said. "He is starting to act like Tweek."

"I…haven't been sleeping well," stammered Stan.

"Anyway," I said as I led them upstairs, "you will never, ever believe what I just saw."

"Oh, man," groaned Cartman.

"It's on fanfiction.It is creepy. Very creepy. You guys are going to hate me for showing this to you, but…"

I sat quickly at the computer before Cartman could take it away and groped for the mouse, visiting I clicked on 'cartoons.'

"Oh no," said Stan. "You're going to do what your dad told you not to do, aren't you?"

"Bingo," I sighed.

I moved the mouse over to the S's, and paused.

"See? Look at this! We're famous!"

"Whoa, dude!" cried Stan. "That is so cool. 'South Park…'"

"Nderesixunedentixories!" exclaimed Kenny.

Translation: "And there's six hundred twenty-six stories!"

"Yeah," I said. "But, man, you are not going to like what you see when you click on it."

"Why?" asked Cartman as I entered the 'South Park' page. "How bad can it – oh my holy freaking god!"

"Oh, man!" groaned Stan. "KyleStan slash? Slash! They're writing about slash in read the story title. 'Of the Obsessed and Abused.'" I shivered. God, me and Stan? What is happening to this freaking world!

"Er, here's a humor one," I said, reading the title and summary out loud. "'Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo Revisited. Kenny receives an early Christmas Present. Lame summary.'"

We read that one, and it was certainly funny.

"Well, there goes Kenny, again!" laughed Cartman.

"Ayontinkuni."

"Of course you don't think it's funny, Kenny, because you keep dying," said Stan. "'The D completes its fall and crash lands on poor Kenny's head…' Sorry, dude, but that's hilarious."

"What else is there?" asked Cartman. "I hope there's not a me-slash!"

I clicked out of that story and scrolled down.

"Oh, man, there's a Tweek slash," commented Cartman.

"StanCraig, StanKyle," read Stan aloud. "Gees."

"Ennyutters!" cried Kenny.

"Yup, KennyButters slash," I said, grinning. "Poor Kenny."

"Oh my God!" cried Cartman suddenly, and read a summary. "'When Stan discovers Cartman's feelings for Kyle!' Dude, that is sick!"

"Okay, I think I'm going to barf," announced Stan. "Can we look at something else?"

"Okay, have a look at these C2s," I said, clicking on 'C2' and to 'cartoons' and then to 'South Park.'

"Oooh!" said Stan. "South Park nonslash stories. Sweet!"

"Ehccorikorg!" exclaimed Kenny.

"Yup, 'The McCormick Morgue,' Kenny," I said. "You're famous, my friend."

"'We all know Kenny is our favorite,'" Cartman read aloud. "Well, what about me? Aren't I like, the second favorite?"

"Somehow I doubt it," I muttered.

"What the heck is that supposed to mean!" demanded Cartman.

So we visited the forums area after I dodged Cartman's punch.

"More Kenny!" cried Stan. "Dude, you're like, way popular."

"'For all of you who can't get enough of that dying boy,'" I read. "Oh, yeah. Kenny has died a lot, hasn't he?"

"Yeah, I just noticed," added Cartman.

We spent nearly all of our time on the freaking computer, laughing at the fics written about us before we had to go to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night, and got up because I had to pee. Naturally, I gracefully tripped over Stan's sleeping bag but managed to land quietly and not disturb the others.

Or so I thought.

"Oww…" mumbled Stan as soon as I tripped. "Dude, that like, hurt."

"Sorry," I whispered, sitting up. "You're awake? What the heck?"

He shrugged, not meeting my gaze. "Can't sleep. I keep thinking about that one fic about me, where I accidentally shot my sister…"

I laughed. "That was a good one."

"Yeah…well…" Stan did look absolutely tired, but he seemed as though he was fighting to stay awake.

"Stan, why don't you want to go to sleep?" I asked.

He looked nervously at Cartman's sleeping bag, obviously hoping that the guy was asleep.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone, especially Cartman?" whispered Stan.

I was surprised. "Of course, dude, I'm your friend."

"Okay…" He hesitated. Then, "Dude, I've started sleepwalking."

My eyes widened and I fought to keep a straight face. "Er, say what?"

"I sleepwalked on over to my sister's room, dude! And she socked me." He rubbed a sore spot on his cheek. "Ow."

"Oh, man." I swallowed nervously. "How do you cure sleepwalking?"

"I don't know!" he cried. "But I can't go to sleep here, because what if Cartman sees me doing it? Oh, man, oh man, he would tease me until the day I died, and he'd tell everybody."

"I…" I hastily thought up a plan for my friend. "I got some cool handcuffs for Christmas. I can handcuff you to the table."

"Er, really? I really don't think that's a good idea. What if I knock the table over?"

"Don't," I answered, and got up silently to look for the silver pair of handcuffs. "Found 'em!"

We moved Stan's sleeping bag over to the far corner, next to the table. Nervously, Stan crawled inside, and I handcuffed him to the table.

"Er, you have the keys, right?" he asked.

The smile faded from my face.

"Oh, God!" he cried.

I laughed. "Dude, I'm just kidding. I'm sorry, but I couldn't resist."

Stan looked as though he wanted to sock me, but he couldn't because of the position his hands were in.

"Um, what happens when we wake up and Cartman sees me in this position with my hands like this?"

"Here." I grabbed the blanket off my bed and through it over Stan. "I'll tell them you got cold, and in the morning, when we wake up, I'll crawl under there to wake you up, and undo the handcuffs, okay?"

"Okay, dude," he said. "Thanks."

* * *

Haha! You guys are good guessers. And Kenny hasn't died yet. Oh, yeah, check out those fics that I mentioned. They really exist. Read them and reivew 'em, okay? Anyway, review my story! 


	3. Kenny

Chapter Three – KENNY'S POV

WHAM!

I sat up straight in the middle of the night, looking wildly around for the thing that had made that noise. I could have sworn I heard something swearing after it as well. Kyle, Stan, and Cartman still slept peacefully. That was weird, I thought, settling down in bed. But after that I thought I heard something that sounded like moaning.

* * *

I woke up again, but it was morning this time, to see Kyle standing over Stan's sleeping bag – or at least where it was now. They had moved it under the table, and the table had fallen on Stan. That would explain the loud noise I heard in the middle of the night. I stood up quietly, and Kyle gently moved the table off Stan, revealing a blanket covering him. They had no idea I was awake.

"Sorry, dude," Kyle was saying. "I didn't hear you in the middle of the night. I was dreaming."

"I kicked you!" hissed Stan angrily. "You should have woken up!"

Kyle threw back the blanket – and I held back a wild burst of laughter. Stan was handcuffed to the table!

"About time," he grumbled. "I can't believe you – uh oh."

He had just noticed me standing there. Kyle turned around.

"Oh, Kenny!" he exclaimed, laughing nervously. "I suppose you're kind of wondering what the heck we're doing…"

"Ahttheeckrrrooinn?" I asked.

"Yeah, what the heck are we doing…well…" Kyle glanced at Cartman's sleeping form. "Is he asleep?"

I walked over and glanced down at him, then gave him a slight nudge with my toe. He didn't react, and since I was still alive, he must still be asleep. I told them that.

"Good." I walked to Kyle and Stan, where Kyle was searching for the keys by Stan's head. "Stan just reported that he was sleepwalking a few nights ago."

"Ohh!" I exclaimed with a laugh. "Ohhan."

"Yeah, oh man," snapped Stan. There was a small click and his hands came free. "I unfortunately sleepwalked over to Shelly's room, and well…it wasn't funny.

"Ndduuontauntarrmaoonocuzzeellakeunofuu?" I asked.

"Yeah, he doesn't want Cartman to know because he'll make fun of him," translated Kyle. "And you won't tell either, will you?"

"Noo," I said. "Ayeomiseayeontell."

"You better promise you won't tell," growled Stan, sitting up. "I haven't experienced anything so embarrassing since…I dunno."

It was then when Cartman's sleeping form suddenly stirred. We stared at the larger one suddenly sit up and yawn.

"Hey, dudes," he said. "What did I miss?"

"Oh, man, Cartman's awake," complained Kyle.

"Err, ayeaveaeestshun," I said.

"What's your question?" asked Stan.

"Ummm…" I hesitated. Then, "Uttinndawoldsslahh?"

The three of them stared at me.

"What did he say?" Kyle asked Stan.

"He said he doesn't know what slash is," he answered. "Oh, man."

"Maybe it's better if he doesn't know." Kyle looked at me. "Why did you react to that Kenny/Butters fic, then?"

I shrugged. "Ayeuzustaying along."

"You were just playing along," repeated Stan, glancing at Kyle.

"I'm not going to tell him," said Cartman, sitting on a chair with his hands behind his head.

"Issitealyatbbad?" I asked.

"Yes, it really is that bad, Kenny," said Kyle. "You see…slash fics are…erm…well…" He glanced at Stan for help.

"Male/Male," he mumbled.

Now it was my turn to stare.

"Ssayut?"

"Yeah, male/male romances," said Stan, looking very uncomfortable. "It's disgusting."

"Ahhiteess!" I cried. "Ayeantelieeveanictionuodalowtoseondaite!"

"I can't believe people would allow that on the site either, Kenny," said Kyle. "It's seriously nasty."

I shivered at the thought of all those slash writers. (a/n: no offense, dudes, but I seriously cannot stand slash.) And they had three-fourth of the community on the South Park area? That was just weird.

"Hey, let's check out the fics that are on today," suggested Cartman. "I want to see another Stan/Kyle!"

"I don't," mumbled Kyle and Stan, but in seconds we were crowded around at the computer, with Kyle at the mouse, because he was probably the only one who could work it.

"There's that story 'Of the Obsessed and Abused' again," said Cartman, smirking. "It's a Kyle/Stan. Haha!"

"Kenny/Butters again," muttered Stan. "Oh, look! A Clyde/Craig!"

"Can we show it to them?" asked Cartman. "Pleeease?"

"No, that would be rude," said Kyle, scrolling down. "Oh my God! 'Fallen Little Jewboy?' 'What if Sheila had missed and shot her own son?' Oh God."

"Let's read it!" cried Cartman.

"Let's not."

"Yeah, I don't want to see Kyle die," added Stan.

"You people are stupid. If that happened, I'd be able to devise my own plan for Kyle to die."

"What!" exclaimed Kyle.

"Ell, attuzude," I said.

"Yeah, that was rude," growled Stan. "Scroll down, Kyle. What else is there?"

"Here's a Kenny one – 'Stuart,'" read Kyle. "'Kenny asks his dad about his mom. Hints of character death.'"

"Err, izzommedd?" I asked.

"I don't know if your mom's dead because we're not going to read it," answered Kyle, going to the next page.

But at that moment, the door flew open. The four of us turned in shock. It was Ike, Kyle's little brother.

"Oh, hi, Ike," said Kyle, waving. "Are Mom and Dad up?"

Ike didn't answer, but gave us very searching looks. We glanced at each other. Wow, Ike had really gone berserk.

"Ike?" said Kyle, blinking. "You okay?"

Ike still said nothing, but left out the door.

"Well, that was weird," said Cartman, standing straight up.

"Ayeavveooeave," I said, looking at a clock.

"Really?" said Stan. "Why do you have to leave?"

I shrugged. "Ittssutayearenttsedd."

"It's what your parents said," repeated Kyle. "Well, that's cool. Bye, then, Kenny!"

As I turned to leave, I heard Cartman mutter, "I'll bet his family is always so drunk, they need him there to take the alchohol away from them!"

I picked up a baseball and chucked it at Cartmans' head. The wider boy let out a yell and clutched his head while Stan and Kyle snickered.

* * *

I did a few chores around the house while my parents – surprise, surprise – got drunk. Just when I had finished patching up a hole in my bedroom, the doorbell rang.

"Get the phone, Kenny!" came my Dad's cry.

"Ooeandadore," I muttered, and opened the door.

It was Ike. I scowled.

"Idoolloeeome, upid? Everind – I'llllakeooakkoodabroflovvviis."

I was just about to leave for Kyle's house, when Ike leapt at me, teeth literally bared! He bit my arm. I leapt back in pain and shock.

"Aykke!" I cred. "Uttda –"

Ike wasted no time in leaping at me again – I yelled angrily and ran out the door, with Kyle's little brother close behind. I had managed to get a little bit ahead of him by the time I reached the Broflovskis' – shaking and sweating, I pounded on the door.

Kyle, Stan, and Cartman opened it.

"Whoa, dude!" exclaimed Kyle. "Kenny, what are you doing here?"

"Ile," I gasped, "orrittleotherazonninane. Ettimawayyomee!"

"My little brother has gone insane?" repeated Kyle.

"Haha!" Cartman, of course.

"Where is he?" asked Stan, stepping outside. Then, "Ahhh!"

I felt a horrible pain in my head and then – nothing.

* * *

Well, Kenny's dead!

Sorry it's short – but then, if Kenny's narrating, it's bound to be short! Again, those fics I mentioned up there – go read and review them.


	4. Cartman

Gees, people! I can't include every single one of your stories in this; give me a freaking break…sigh…anyway, this'll be the last chapter of this, and it's pretty darn short too. So, here you are. Have a chapter.

* * *

Chapter Five – CARTMAN'S POV

"Oh my God!" cried Stan. "He killed Kenny!"

Kyle screamed, "You –"

"Kids!" It was Kyle's parents. "What is going on?"

I pointed at the porch which was stained with Kenny's blood. "Ike killed Kenny!" I exclaimed.

The Broflovskis glanced at each other, and burst out laughing. "Kenny dies all the time. A rock probably got him and you didn't notice it!"

"No, really!" said Stan. "Look! Ike is chewing on Kenny's head!" He pointed at Kyle's little brother, who had Kenny's parka right in his mouth.

The Broflovskis, still chuckling, went back into the hosue. Ike looked at us, a cruel gleam in his little black eyes. Kyle stepped forward, trying to make peace.

"Now, Ike, look," he said, "I know you don't want to eat me, do you? Come on –"

"Rahhh!" roared Ike, leaping at Kyle. He screamed as his little brother attached himself to his face.

Stan rushed forward and yanked Ike off his best friend and then threw Ike into the snow outside. "Come on!" he yelled to Kyle and me, and the three of us ran from Kyle's house.

"Where are we going?" demanded Kyle, panting.

"Hope it's not very far," I said.

"I have an idea," replied Stan.

* * *

"Oh, hello, children!" said Chef in his usual cheery voice. "What seems to be the – whoa!"

Chef cried out as we shoved through the door and bolted it closed. We made a beeline for every window in the house, making sure it was securely locked. THUD! There was a sudden bang on the doorway – Ike had just run into it.

"What is going on?" demanded Chef.

"We have a major problem!" exclaimed Kyle. "Ike has gone insane! He killed Kenny!"

Chef stared at the three of us for a moment before saying, "Oh, children, don't you see? This is your fault."

Kyle blinked. "Our fault?"

"Well, actually just yours, Kyle. All those times you've kicked him, don't you think Ike would want to get revenge some time or another?"

"I…I guess so…" Kyle stared at the floor.

"So the only way to make this all better is for you, Kyle, to apoligize to Ike."

"Okay," said Kyle, looking very nervous. "Er…what if he kills me?"

Chef shrugged. "Then it's your fault."

I chuckled. "Kyle getting killed by his little brother. That would be classic."

"Shut up," snapped Kyle, walking toward the door. Stan and I followed him, with Chef bringing up the rear. "…Ike?"

He peeked nervously around the door.

BAM!

Instantly, Kyle got a face full of Ike. The redhead wrestled his little brother to the floor, all the while shouting, "Ike! I didn't mean to kick you all those times, I'm so sorry!"

But Ike was paying no attention to Kyle's shouting; he bit him hard on the hand and leapt away from him, preparing to attack him again. Kyle stood up slowly, straightened his hat, and nursed his bleeding hand. Stan and I watched with our mouths open.

"Ike, I'm so sorry I kicked you all those years," he said. "I, uh…I didn't mean it. Really. And I promise you, I won't do it again, okay?"

Ike hesitated, considering. Then he said something that sounded like, "Ayeaboo…"

This obviously made sense to Kyle because he exclaimed, "Thanks, Ike!" and hugged him.

I sighed loudly. "Can we go now?" I asked.

"Just a minute, Eric," replied Chef. "Kyle, I hope this has taught you an important lesson: don't ever mess with your little siblings. There's no telling what might happen."

"Yeah," said Kyle. "I don't think I'll be making fun of Ike ever again."

* * *

As we walked back to the Broflovskis' house, I noticed that Stan looked slightly calmer than he had been in days. He hesitated, considering, then said to Kyle, who was carrying Ike, 

"Dude, I think I'm over the sleepwalking thing."

Kyle looked surprised.

"I thought you didn't want Cartman to know," he said.

"I didn't," replied Stan. "But I seriously don't think that matters anymore." He glared at me as though challenging me to make fun of him.

I shrugged. "He's got a point."

Kyle looked even more surprised but said to Stan, "What made you decide that you're not going to sleepwalk anymore?"

"Maybe it was seeing Ike kill Kenny," he replied, shrugging.

"You were sleepwalking, dude?" I asked incrediously. "That's pretty…er…interesting." I sniggered.

"Shut up, Cartman, or I'll –"

I smirked. "I wasn't going to make fun of you, I was just saying it was interesting. Anyway, how about we go read more of the fics on the South Park area?"

Kyle winced. "Er, Cartman…I have something to ask you…"

"Yeah?" I snapped. "What?"

"Um…well, I was wondering if you could stop writing on I mean, I don't mean to sound rude, but my reviewers haven't been reviewing since I mentioned that you were my friend."

"Oh." I chuckled. "Really? Maybe they like me more."

"Cartman…"

"All right, fine." I laughed. "I didn't even like writing all that much, anyway…took too much of my precious time from watching Terrance and Phillip."

Kyle breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, dude. Maybe I'll get some reviews now…"

There was a pause. Then,

"Stan, dude," I said, "were you really sleepwalking?"

Wham!

* * *

Finished…

Shortness. I hate shortness. Sigh. This is even shorter than chapter five of TTW2…Whatever. Review. Or I'll have your heads for dinner. XD


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